I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
Randomize
