could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
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