So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just replaced the batteries in my vibrator without turning on the lights. I need to get laid.
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
I woke up under a house in Key West
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