The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
It's only 4 pm and I'm already way past my preferred quota of "could have died" moments
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He called his prostate his "boner button".
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
According to my snapchat story, I tore a fake wig off a security guard and ran away with it.
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
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