I cockslap morals
I really wish I could go back in time to change the course of events that led to me sitting on the internet at 3 Googling 'Traumatic masturbation' while talking to you about failed dates, and running a virtual restaurant in a video game.
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
Last night I had sex with one of the groomsmen I was in the wedding with. In a stairwell. 13 years my senior. Thinking I should retire from the bridesmaid gig.
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
Randomize
