i don't want a singing card. it disturbs my hangover. give me a pack of cigs taped to a bottle of wine and fuck me without a condom. happy vday baby.
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
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