you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
I puked in the urinal of a bar tonight. Not embarrassed cause I got away with it, legitimately upset you weren't there to make fun of me.
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
Randomize