In the future we'll all be gay
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
I’m at the Eye doc, sitting in the waiting room. The woman next to me is highlighting passages in her bible. I’m watching pornhub on mute. I clearly need some penis, or Jesus.
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
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