hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
Got laid last night using the intro line of "rate your hurricane evacuation plan on a scale of 1-10"
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
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