I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
your cat followed me a mile away from your house. if it doesn't come back, i'm sorry, but I needed to get laid tonight.
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
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