And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
We just shotgunned beers for America
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
I just set my mike's hard down and didn't want it to spill, so I held my finger up and told it to shoosh. I'm drunk.
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
Randomize
