can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
You're going to find someone that you love very much and that loves you, and then you're gonna find an additional person that you literally can't stop staring at from across the room. I feel very confidently about that
Randomize
