she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
There is a such thing as a wonderpuss octopus. Officially my new favorite animal.
Sober January is a disaster.
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
In the middle of having sex with me, she reminded me that I was supposed to call my mom that morning. My penis has never retracted so quickly.
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
I should start an etsy shop with all the jewelry and clothes women leave at my house
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
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