Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
Just figured out why my bed smells like weed: I just found a bowl in my pillow case?
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
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