Dual....:-)
i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
Everyone knows that the fastest route to a corporate advancement is to take a shot in the mouth
I'm surrounded by 3 year olds in tutus. They are far too innocent to be within at least 500 ft of me.
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
I think I ruined his life by managing to get his initiation nickname for his frat to be "Whiskey Dick" but I still wish herpes on him and his fugly new girlfriend.
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN
She slapped a big dramatic bandage on my arm and people started buying me drinks...I plan on wearing a full body cast tomorrow night.
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
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