forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
You're wonderful. How are you always such a good friend?
50% genetics, 50% driven by a desire for people to drunkenly eat donuts at my funeral and then have fantastic cry-sex afterward.
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
Kids I used to babysit are now fuckable members of my social media periphery.. Getting old sucks
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
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