Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
only you would photoshop your dick
I understand Curling. That high.
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
Having my alarm go off at 3:30 makes me wanna rip my dick off and shove it through my eye socket
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
WHY didn't you stop me from ordering $900 worth of socks last night when I was very obviously judgement impaired at the time?!?!
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
Randomize
