her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
What kind of scumbag goes to a baby's 1st birthday party with a black eye? This kind. Me. I'm disgraceful.
I told a 250 pound football player I would catch him if he jumped into my arms. And that is how I broke my wrist
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
Randomize
