She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
You know the guy who poops at a party and then leaves and you go in, do your business, and come out and there are girls outside that think you pooped and no one talks to you? I'm the guy who poops before you go in, because I'm in a relationship and I hate you.
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
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The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
Hahah what did you even say to him?!
That I was gonna inflate his vagina with a leaf blower?
Oh.
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
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I held the blackjack dealer's hand and told the old asian woman she was 'soft to the touch, but cold as ice"
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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