508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
Hold on, I gotta pump breast milk for the white russians.
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
Just high enough for therapy.
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
the roommate is literally cooking green eggs n ham, and I'm too hungover to see straight. Dr Seuss nightmare.
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
Randomize
