I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
Almost to work. And still feel hungover. Like my body is trying to regenerate after dying. Full on zombie shit. But like, one of those zombies from warm bodies that comes back to life slowly.
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
Randomize
