the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
They woke me up at 4 in the morning screaming "drunk adventure time!" because they needed a sober chaperone. They made me walk them around the block shoeless.
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
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