it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
do you have any idea why i woke up naked spooning my toaster?
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
SERIOUSLY WHY DOES EVERYONE INSIST THAT THEY NEED TO SEE MY BOOBS
Because there's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. You should start charging for viewings.
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine
Girl. There is no more toilet paper. You should have seen the twerking I just did to shake the pee off.
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
I’ve chosen to watch a Mercedes station wagon drive around the Austrian in the rain because it’s live sports. If that doesn’t explain 2020, I don’t know what does.
Randomize
