DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
Randomize
