Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
You called me twice to tell me that you spit in your own eye, when I was right next to you.
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
Literally lying on a futon being hand fed bacon
Fuck you.
My liver was like a college freshman on spring break. It would've danced topless on tables if it could have.
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
Randomize
