Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
The beer is more important than you right now.
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
YOU NEED TO STOP BLOWING DUDES ON MY COUCH AT MY PARTIES
YOU NEED TO STOP PROVIDING TEQUILA AT YOUR PARTIES
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
Randomize
