I woke up at 5am and he was watching me sleep... Come get meee!!??
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's the barista slut.
My coke dealer 411'd my work number just to see how I was doing and gave me his new number. He must miss my business
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
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