Pregnant stripper...not hot.
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
My life is over. I farted in open court. Noticeably. The judge looked at me. It echoed.
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
i got pulled over completely sober but looking like death. dick cop made me do a field sobriety test. he also said "no sober person could have 7 BK bags"
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
Randomize
