NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
I thought of you this morning when I woke up in a bed with a girl wrapped in duct tape dressed as a coors light can.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
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