She is in my trunk
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
Randomize
