from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
Now that I'm single, I like to think of myself as in a relationship with Taco Bell.
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
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