You dirty dirty liar I like the way you twitter
There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
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