these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
I woke up to a topless girl handing me a blunt. Candidate for greatest wake-up ever?
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
If you had a good reason for throwing the toaster at the wall, now's a good time to tell someone. My parents are on their way back and you know my dad and his pop tarts.
Randomize
