I dont know whether to be proud of myself for not driving, or being proud that i was so messed up I couldnt drive
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
I hid my booze in my old Sesame Street lunch box. Big Bird might be disappointed, but I feel Oscar the Grouch would approve.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
Today's hangover is brought to us by Sailor Jerry's and your dedication to my alcoholism.
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
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