Did you just see the Batmobile???
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
Doing lines of coke with a $100 dollar bill off a 6in x 9in photo of your childhood self really tells you where you where you've gotten in life.
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
my brother has friends over and I can hear one of them screaming from the basement "BREATHE. FILL YOUR LUNGS. LIVE YOUR LIFE." and it sounds like he's doing some motivational speaking down there but that's actually just how he encourages ppl to take bong hits
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
Randomize
