tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
So, remember how that one doctor said it was 1 in a million that I'd get pregnant...
Yeeah thank god
Well..welcome to parenting Mr. one in a million.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
that is very illegal...i love you.
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