I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
I swear that when I have my own bathroom, I'm gonna lock myself in there and masterbate for at least 3 days in sheer appreciation of it.
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
Randomize