I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this must be what syphilis tastes like
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
There is a drunk marine passed out on my porch. Mandy wouldn't sleep with him, Can you please come remove him?
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
Throwing up into Nora's potty chair while simultaneously having beer shits was truly the highlight of my Christmas season.
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
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