Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
I can't. I will literally throw up my liver
Why dont you be an ebola patient for halloween? You can totally throw up and itll be part of your costume.
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
Randomize
