But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
I'm timing the release of my poops to the sound of the machine gun from the video game he's playing in the living room.
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
So im at the gym and some guy has a tattoo of a hand doing the shocker... The douche bag bar has been raised yet again.
He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
How so I keep attracting the virgins? HOW?
You talk about your love for your ninja turtle onesie when you're drunk. Are you really surprised?
we need to open a bar. a bar with... wait for it... A FUCKING BALL PIT.
LOL. Do you guys need a ride home?
No. we're home already. i just thought it was a brilliant fucking idea.
The ass gains better be worth it
Randomize
