C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
Segways are the fanny packs of transportation. Useful in some situations, but you always look like a tool when using one.
we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
we're about an hour out, how's the weather?
cloudy with a chance of strippers and cocaine, you're favorite. welcome home.
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
Randomize
