You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
sometimes i feel like my only option in life is to be drunk or be a cat. today i am drunk
The owner of this phone is no longer accepting texts from liars, assholes or married men. You figure out which one applies.
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
I put xanax in the cake batter
Did you really? It all makes sense now.
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
Dude I'm at a Marijuana dispensary party. They are giving away BAGS of edibles
How do you keep ending up in these situations?
My dad is their accountant
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
Randomize
