Tip for today: never try to fart and swallow at the same time. You'll end up choking on whatever you are currently swallowing and shit yourself from the freakout of choking.
I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
All his texts have the signature of a date with a smile. I asked him what it means. IT'S THE DAY HE QUIT DOING DRUGS
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
Someone stole a lamp last night.
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
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