She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
I just typed 14 shots of Smirnoff into my calorie count toolbar. Then typed pole dancing 1.5hrs into the calorie burner search. Should break even.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
That same damn squirrel keeps staring at me like I did something wrong. Nature knows when you're hung over.
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