its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
Fuck you know you drunk when you start signing the Masson impossjvke song to entourage yourself to pee
You are the best. Or certainly adequate for tempering my unholy desires.
That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me.
Didn't realize he fucked me in a bed a dog is always in until my face swelled two sizes and I had hives all over my body. This is God's way of punishing me for having amazing sex.
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
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