i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
True life: I inadvertently fucked a whole friend group. More details to come tonight.
I can’t believe the first text I’m sending you from this phone was about how I just got fingered in a smart car on tin can hill
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
Randomize
