I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
I think I just accidentally agreed to become a surrogate for a gay couple
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
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