I just made out with a guy for $7.
those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
A true measure of a good friend is how long she responds to her friends drunken illogical texts. Youre a champ.
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
Randomize
