It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
I feel like im in a tornado of daylight savings, tequila and death
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
Randomize
