I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
What's the appropriate way to phrase "If you ever leave your wife give me a call. But we can still have sex periodically until then."??
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
Randomize
