Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
So I got this new job… ever been fucked in a corner office before?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
It's 5am and I have yet to fall asleep. At what point do we just accept that I run on vodka?
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
I just ate the lyft drivers bacon cheeseburger. Well fuck me this night escalated quickly.
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
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