I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
I JUST HAD A FLASH MEMORY OF DOING A SHOT OF WHISKEY WITH MY BEER YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO PUNCH ME IN THE FACE TO PREVENT THAT FROM HAPPENING.
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
...
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
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