It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
I am not kidding you. There is an airport luggage cart overturned in my driveway. We need to stop going to the airport bar.
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
Randomize
