It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
i just used the Cadillac of toilet papers. For a minute i actually forgot i was even wiping my ass....i thought i was floating butt first into heaven
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
bad sex. bad bad bad. it was like trying to pick up an overcooked noodle with an empty pringles can. why do these guys always seem to find me?
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
Girl... I just woke up with a bloody mary in a to go cup on my nightstand and two hours late for work.. I'm sorry i can't go out on weekdays anymore. Luckily my boss was just happy i was ok
Just found a note on the bed that said "Dear mittens, had to leave early I'll be back soon."
WTF? Are you mittens?
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
Randomize
