How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
im hiding in a corner. drunk. with a plate of stolen jello shots. im pretty sure people are looking for me or the jello shots.
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
THERE IS AN ENORMOUS FAT WOMAN EYEING MY FLIGHT'S GATE LIKE IT WOULD BE DELICIOUS TO EAT.
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
Randomize
