Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
The thumbs up barstamp on my hand is mocking my hangover with its positivity.
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
IM AT A ROOFTOP FUNDRAISER LOOKING OVER THE WHITE HOUSE I WILL NOT RUIN MYSELF
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
I wish the guy in the stall next to me would stop moaning while taking a dump.
I wish you'd stop texting me from the toilet.
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
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