Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
I've gotta stop getting kicked out of bars for fighting with people over the accuracy of the Harry Potter movie.
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
You think you're smart. You're pretending to be asleep to save yourself from my hormonal pms mood swings. Unfortunately that only works against bears.
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
Guess who just set half their backyard on fire.
Please tell me youre joking.
Nope. on the brightside though, im really gonna quit smoking this time.
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
Randomize
