And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
If the Four Horseman of the Apocalypse gang banged each other and had a kid, it would look like the creature I woke up next to this morning.
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
Randomize
