Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
I can't finger myself when I'm all distracted about whether or not your family is going to like me
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
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