Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
My cat gives me a boner
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
Remind me to tell you the one about the cashier that wouldn't sell me Jim Beam and NyQuil.
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
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