Fuck appropriateness.
So I tried to call my phone from his phone and was like, "hey, my name is not in here..I thought you had my number" turns out he has my number saved as "gives good head"
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
Apparently she almost had an affair at Outback Steakhouse, details to follow when I get home but the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
STOP PUTTING PICTURES OF JONAH HILL IN MY KITCHEN CABINETS!
I have 2 bottles of wine, a sharpie, and a panda mask and don't have to wake up early. Can u do the math on this?
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
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