If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
Power went out. She lit a candle and gave me head. Made some pretty impressive candlelight cocksucking shadowpuppets. Must be what porn was like in olden times.
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
Randomize
