I swear ... this hickey is a map to Amelia Earhart's whereabouts
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
Randomize
